When Summer Ends
by hoglee
Summary: I gulped back tears as I thought of the night we had sat out here just talking and singing and holding each other, more tenderly then I thought possible. I suppose I should have known then that it was too rosy to last.
1. Last Week of Summer

**A/N This is just a quick twoshot I wrote, explaining why Quinn went pink. Been done before I know, this is just how I imagine it.**

**RPOV**

I swallowed several times in an attempt to repress the overwhelming urge to vomit. Quinn was the only person who had ever managed to make me feel nervous.

I waited for her on our bench in the park. Since Prom, and more so after Nationals, we had taken to meeting here: the seat underneath the sycamore tree. I gulped back tears as I thought of the night we had sat out here just talking and singing and holding each other, more tenderly then I thought possible. It had been so still, removed from the drunks and the insistent growl of the road. There had been a full moon- I know because Quinn had sung 'Dream a Little Dream of Me' in her delicious alto as we looked up at it. I had, in fact, dreamt of her every night since then; but I would never swell her ego by admitting that. I suppose I should have known then that it was too rosy to last.

I looked up as she approached me, elegant as ever, but more relaxed; she'd taken to wearing jeans recently, saying she wanted to me "more herself" now.

She was carrying her battered copy of Jane Austen's 'Emma'. She'd been reading it aloud to me, a chapter or two every evening of the summer as we sat here on our bench.

I was enjoying it far more than I had expected, though mainly, I suspect, through hearing it read by Quinn.

Guess I'd never know what happens now.

**QPOV**

I smiled as I saw her. She was always earlier than me, usually leaning back with her eyes closed and patiently humming by the time I arrived. I liked to try and sneak up on her and listen if I could, but more often or not she caught me.

My smile dropped as I saw her tense, upright posture.

"Rach?" I greeted uncertainly.

She gave me a tiny, sorrowful smile, and fear shot through me. She wouldn't?

"Read to me, Quinn", she pleaded.

Perturbed, I began. I savoured the warmth of her head on my lap, her velveteen hair falling into my hands, her cinnamon scent rising to mix with the sweet sycamore to fill my senses with the perfume of heaven. I savoured it like I never had before, somehow sure that this was the last time.

"Then do not speak of what will only hurt us both!" I read, sounding hideously desperate even to my own ears.

I had always thought of 'Emma' as a tragedy. A girl stuck in small-town life, corseted by manners, caged by etiquette and gossip, and imprisoned by an over-protective father. This horrible timing of chapters only confirmed my opinion of it as one of the most heart-breaking books ever written.

**RPOV**

Her voice cracked as she read Emma's line, and I knew she was begging _me._ Begging me not to end this.

Tears began to force themselves out and I turned my face, burying it in the soft, vanilla-scented hoodie that Quinn was wearing.

Her slim fingers gently soothed my head. Even now, she was trying to comfort _me_, even when I was about to break her heart.

I couldn't listen to the rest of the chapter. I sat up.

At once, Quinn closed the book, pages thudding together with a soft "phut".

"I'm sorry, Quinn". My whisper was almost inaudible even to me, but her whimper told me that she had heard.

"Why?"

I searched for the words. Because I couldn't take the heartbreak every time someone mentioned homosexuals and hell and Quinn tried to hide her conflict. Because when her Dad found out, I would be too far in to survive the loss. Because somehow, one day, the worry would be too much for her and she would leave me to marry some pleasant, Christian man. I couldn't bear to think of it, even now after mere weeks. I couldn't imagine my anguish in two, three, five years time when it actually happened.

"We're just not… good for each other" I came out with, haltingly, begging her to understand even a little of what I truly meant.

Her body folded as if someone had physically crushed her in the palm of their hands.

Instantly, I wanted to take it back. Hell, I'd wanted to take it back even before I had done it. But I didn't. I just left.

**QPOV**

I stayed on that seat all night, unmoving.


	2. Back to School

**A/N This second and very short chapter is set in Season 3 Episode 1: The Purple Piano.**

**QPOV**

I smirked at her, wanting her to know why I was doing this, to feel one tiny smidgen of my pain.

_You forget_, my inner 'skank' reminded me,_ she doesn't give a shit._

She wanted my voice. She could fucking take it. _Rip my fucking vocal chords out with your bare hands,_ I wanted to scream. Perhaps it would be more therapeutic than self-harming had been.

"I know we've never been… close", she stumbled over the lie and as the hot blood pounded my head in fury, I felt myself ice-over.

So that was how she was going to paint things, huh?

Screw my vocal chords, rip out my agonised heart. It might hurt less than this.

**RPOV **

I had made a mistake. I realised at once, but I'd figured Quinn wouldn't want anyone to know she'd been my…something. Everything.

As her eyes sealed off from me, I knew I'd lost. She wasn't coming back. Oh perhaps she would return to Glee when she needed it again, but return to me? No.

**QPOV**

I watched from the balcony that I'd often haunted like a belfry with Sue as the Hunchback of freaking Notre Dame.

Below me, she danced, sang, _lived_ with as much beauty and passion and joy as it was possible for one tiny person to hold within themselves.

I kept waiting for this brutal agony to stop, for the hurt to fade.

I waited in vain.


End file.
